What did i ever do to deserve this?

I understand you 

I care for you
I worry about you 

I love you 

I dont want you to get hurt
We are always here for you ..

I'm sick of all this things you ever said to me ! I'm soo soo tired of all this shit ! Do you even know how stressful am i right now ? DO YOU?! NO! YOU DONT ! and there you are yapping here and there backstab me together with that younger son and daughter of yours .. Dude seriously!! I'm so tired now .. i cant spill it out .. closest friends all coupled and ditch me .. They barely answer my calls.. my message .. my post .. I lost everyone in this 7 month .. All i left is you ! my family ! and yea this is what i always get .. 

You said i am very sensitive .okay yea i am but cant you see i'm trying my best not to ?me bad temper ? yea i agree with that .. do you wanna know why ? you guyz were the one who turn me into this .. When i'm having problem , i can't tell you ! why you asked? cause you can't even settle ur own problems . How am i suppose to tell you ? Yes i got college mate but what can they do ? i got two besties in college but i cant tell them too.. they themselves are having problem too .. How am i suppose to tell them ? Is this the reason that  i was born ? To suffer .. If it is i wished i never was borned .. 

Love your family because they will always be the one who cares for you no matter what?
Dude this is bullshit ! i used to keep that in mind but all of you just love to destroy what was in my mind what i kept believeing and what i kept myself moving on thinking that nah thats true they care for me they love me . Now i finally understand .That statement there is just for dumb ppl like me to believe it .. 

Now i'm just falling apart again .. crying silently in this cold and dark night ..sobbing .. tearing.. and a dying heart ..... and you are just down there laughing thinking that all this was some sort of comedy .. yea i'm so "proud" to have you all as my family.. DAMN PROUD .. 

珍惜＜3

Yoyo !! 哈哈宝贝们~我知道你们俩会读完这个post吧^^因为这是我要告诉你们的话哦XD
我的华语很烂请多多体谅*bow*

首先就是本大小姐~~~~

亲爱的BAKA
咱们是在the one ,avh1外面的厕所认识的:)哈哈哈对别人来说可能很恶心可是对我来说是一件很开心的事:DDDD
我这个大笨蛋有你这种Baka 做朋友真是~~~~!!!有够Baka 咯!! XD hahahahaa 开玩笑的啦:3 其实哦，每一次我们在一起的时候我都觉得好高心!!
我们俩在这么短的时间都可以便的这么要好,我相信我们永远都会是好朋友：）

虽然我们都要进不同的major ，然后会有很少的时间在一起，但是哦我觉得我们还是会和现在一样咯只有一个东西不一样：）就是我们已经比进the one 的第一天pro了很多！！

我在此要感谢BAKA 大人的教导!!T^T
太感谢了!!*bOw*
xD!！
如果不是你教我figure studies 我看啊我会死得比现在还要难看*touch wood*
还有就是帮忙我改我的-.-~~~~ 想法和hmm~算了吧!不要感谢你太多等一下你的病会发作！：3。hhehehee


亲爱的小受a.k.a uke-chan - w -+

咱们俩是在the one block M drawing class 1认识的！我想在这里说一声对不起*bow*
因为我的幼稚，可能有造成很多让你为难，让你伤心和不满的事。＜＜我觉得是有很多吧？*死开啦龙平*（本小姐的笔名是龙平）

如果不是因为BAKA 我是不会知道我的幼稚想法而造成的误解.对不起!!!T^T ~~
我也要谢谢你！
如果不是你我看啊我在这个sem是过不到关的咯!我们俩也是可以一直在一起的吗. - w - + hehehe
小受你啊~ 和BAKA 两个其实还满好欺负*hide* 别刹了我XD

我爱死你了小受别讨厌我哦:)

Can't wait till the day we photoshot
- w -+




本小姐我爱死你们俩了!找机会我们三个一起拍照吧：3 good night !!我要睡了！已经3.16am了：） 88

心痛 、难过:'(

好久没用华语字了..
朋友啊.. 为什么我们会变成这样?
难到我们的友情就因为这些小事而画上句号?
我真的很心痛你知道吗? 我不想为了这些事而失去了你。。。
我啊朋友是很多,可是能够相信的.只有那几个。。。
我真的真的不想失去你啊。。。
那一晚，身为朋友的我是不该那样对你的，但是那时候的你是错的, 对你是我的好友但当你错了而不认对不起我不可以当做没事。。。
我觉得自已好傻哦。。
明明下了决心说就算朋友都没得做，我都要改正你。。。就算你把我当成敌人我还是要改正你..
到最后,我发觉到，我舍不得牺牲我们的友情，我好后悔。。。
我很怕失去你。。。
好想把这些事告诉你，可是看来已经太迟了。。。

No.7 needa FORGET !

Can't forget , can't move on , making myself miserable ...

Well maybe the problem is me ?

I'm such a bitch that i can't stop making things worse :/ FML ! I really want to share my problems and stuff but then i realize everytime i did i just make something worse - .- I felt like a freaking LOA which is so not cool n nice !

Finally , you whatsapp me because i decline some event that your beloved AKA my buddy .honestly ,  10 % of me is still angry about what happen that day , and 90 % of me is still sad .. cause i never believed that she would actually do that .. i thought you guys will be different then those i so called FRIENDS last time .. But yeahh it ended up the other way WOOHOOO~! Good for you , i'm the armor again and you guys are SAFE AND SOUND ~! :) YAY ~!

See i'm being a fucking drama queen right now , tears rolling down , heart aching .. WOW can't things get any worse? HAHAHHAHA...

Well after that happen i started to think why the fuck i share things that happen to me to you guys i mean i don't think you guys really give a shit to it right ? I bet everytime i blab to you guys about my stuff ,you guys are thinking "great! here she goes again" Hahaha.... so yea it's pointless and useless right now ..

Thanks to all these that happend to me that changed me ,
I wanted to be the Me in High School .. those days where i really enjoy myself , and those days when i dun reallly know the REAL FACE of everyone ..
I guess things just can't go the way it used to be eih ?
I guess everything is over now ..
I really care for you guys .. but this is what i always get ..
I'm tired of being the joker among you guys..
I guess i'm no different then others now..
Living under a mask ..
Hiding the real me ...


I guess the light in my life have finally dissapear....

PLAYLIST

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

NO.6 never judge a person by their looks

I kinda learnt something today , thanks to that special someone i misunderstand hahaa.. i feel so blardee immature somehow .(thanks alot loveee <3 ) 

 (Another someone i should glad to have as a friend) 

Reading a blog she wrote that i nvr knew that excist made me realize how lucky am i to have such life . I feel guilty bout the ways i treated you for that month i really am sorry .. :( i will do anything to  help you right now no matter what ! i'm going to bring you out from that darkness , i want you to have that feeling that life ain't that suck-ish anymore .. i want to share with you the fun that i have during my high school years ! i'm going to show you the world of happiness that you wanted to be in for those sad freaking years of yours ! 

I swear , you'll love your college life ! :) it's time to make a change ! :))) 

No.5 why izit always me ?

Wow i can't believe it , everything that happens in the past is happening to me again .. Like honestly what have i ever do to deserve this? I love them so much more than a normal friend would , their like my family BUT YEAH THIS IS WHAT I GET ! Being used as an armor ..

I guess maybe i should just avoid everyone of you, so that i could heal that heart of mine ..

I'm sick of all these lies ..

I'M SICK OF BEING THE PERSON WHO CARES ALOT FOR YOU GUYZ 

I'M SICK OF BEING ANYONE'S ARMOR

I'M SICK OF ALL THESE SO CALL FRIENDSHIP! 

it's the final blow . 

i will  no longer be that ching ching i used to be now , 

that ching ching is already dead , and i guess she'll never come back anymore